A LETTER TO JEREMIAH

My Dear Jeremiah,

The last time I wrote a letter is about waiting, before that, I also wrote a letter which I did not publish on the blog and I sent it instead directly to the person’s email. I also had a blog post about beauty makeup a couple of days ago. My means of communication at work is majority through emails and to reach my friends and family members back home is through chatting on my social media tools.

If you are wondering why am I telling this all to you, here’s why.

Writing for me is the other version of myself, especially when I write on my own space. My blog. I do not consider it as a hobby but more likely an escape mechanism to where I wanted and would like to be. It’s a new dimension, a new world. If you get what I am saying, thank you very much! But if you didn’t, I’d still say thank you because I am here in this world, because of you.

There are days that I would like to write my rants about the food I ate, but I choose not to because I do not want to scatter negative vibes on this blog. Instead, I send it directly to the restaurant’s email address. Same goes to the last letter I wrote to which I did not publish. It was full of emotions and heavy hearts to the extent that I was shedding a tear while writing it. It’s melodramatic.

There are some days, that I want to write. I don’t want to do anything, even house chores (forgive me, my husband!) at home. I just sit on my work desk and face my laptop the whole time. I could write about all the colors of my days, even black and white. I could write stories, a letters or even a novel. Those days are very rare, and to write a novel is one thing I haven’t done in my existence!

The thing is, I can write whatever I want if I wanted to! If my brain is working and flowing, I must stop the thing that I am doing and must write. I can not schedule my writing for some certain blog posts in this spot. There is no schedule. If it arrives, it must come.

But there are also dark days of writing when you feel like every word that comes to your fingertips as you type the letters are nonsense and has no appeal. I mostly have this kind of episodes. A writer’s block as they say, but I call it dark blogs.

I used to have dark blogs when I am occupied with work matters, could be my boss, could be my workmate, or even messengers. I am also occasionally occupied with certainties at home like house chores (maybe) and to be honest when I start to binge watch K-drama series I tend not to write because my attention is purely focused to this Oppa lead actor and can not pull out the words in my brain. I got stuck on it. Dark space, wide, and scattered thoughts are all in.  I’m occupied.

I do not write if I don’t feel like writing.  I’ll end up screwing myself if I forced to.

But if the juices are on, then let’s get this on!

I wonder if I have a pet at home, I am not a pet-person though. But what if?

If you are familiar with the game SIMS 3, it’s a virtual simulation game. You can be anything you want. You can be a whore, a family wrecker, a gambler, or even a drug syndicate! Of course, I didn’t manage to do that.

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I chose my life in that game to be a very successful man. I owned the majority of the lands in our community. Residential and commercial lots are under my name. I worked and climbed my profession in that hell of a game every second time. I used to sleep 3 AM in the morning just to finish some tasks in the game. That’s an addictive game, I won’t recommend it for you.

Being said, I have the power to everything. Even supernatural things are on my hand. Vampires, fairies, wolves and fortune tellers, I have every friend in each category. I am powerful, I can do whatever I want because people like me – because of my money. (Please, I am still talking about the SIMS 3, mind you.)

One day, the leader of the Fairies fell in love with my first daughter who happens to be a vampire. I am a full human in this game, even my wife but my daughter got played by her friend and accidentally locked up to a neighbor’s room who happens to be a vampire. So you know, why the hell happened to my daughter’s fate.

This Fairy is his co-worker in a Science institution where is she is a resident Scientist. And to cut this stupid game story short, the fairy handed me a Unicorn pet just to allow him and my daughter to be united.

And since my personality on this game is ambitious, I accepted his bribe and took the unicorn. Take note, the unicorn in this game is very rare. I mean, I was the only one in my community game at that time who owned a UNICORN!

I had the best time of my life with my new pet! It was a feeling of achievement and it consumes a lot of time for its training, feeding and playing and random things for that unicorn pet.

And all of a sudden I realize that  I lose focus and I am losing my connection to my friends, to my families, and even to my career. Having a pet consumes my whole time because I was so elated and gave all my time to this unicorn pet, ending that my time was so little and I reached my old age trying to pet this damn unicorn, and then what? I died.

I was so focused on my goal and a family oriented man. I have every plan on my life in that game, but with the arrival of that damn unicorn, everything has swept away.

You see that snap of a finger, I lose everything. Even my life! It is the result of me being implusive.

That’s the result of not taking it into consideration what are the things that you will include in your life. You get excited over the things that you really like but not thinking that It could affect somehow some aspect of your life.

Well, on this part, let’s get back to reality.

If you’re stuck on wondering what could be the other things that you could add to spice up your life. Contemplate about it. Think and careful considerate everything.

Sorry if I was so being authoritative, I don’t mean to be authoritative but I intend to be a someone who would like to PUSH you with my letter. That’s it.

Sometimes, it will come to you surprisingly. But that doesn’t mean that you will accept it in an instance. You can think about it for one day, or if that’s too long for you then take an hour. The point is, you think about it and didn’t rush on your decision because you were surprised by its arrival and got elated with it. Think about it.

I’ve been so many times in this kind of situation, and trust me when I say that I am still on the process of mastering it. I am not perfectionist though, but to take time to study and think before anything else should be the first step on taking this kind of ladder. I stumbled to every reckless decision I’ve made before and the good thing is I did not die, yet. But I aint gonna wait for me to die.

There is a saying that “If it’s your’s, it will be yours”, and I totally agree to that! If you let thing pass by even though you really like it but some aspects of your life would not allow it – then you have to let it go.

Sooner, it will arrive to you ~ in a very perfect timing.

I do not know how to conclude my letter to you, that’s the second issue in writing! When you’re on it, your brain is like a mill with lots of unending fuel on it. Thoughts are overflowing, so you just have to take advantage of it.

Jeremiah, I won’t end this letter, I want this letter to be open ended and unique against all.

So, Can we resume on my Sims3 story game? I have another character!

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